Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Larry's Pockets

My adoring readers have informed me that the dearth of posts of late have brought great angst among them - fearing my hilarious tales of woe, excitement and Wal-Mart shootings are no more. And so, here I am, back providing you with just a taste of the entertainment coming up with my renewed efforts in writing.

Is it just me, or has anyone noticed my hubby's pockets? I know, I know, a few of you might think he is a tad overweight. But I swear to you, the man only weighs 185 at most. The rest of those lumps you see? Just stuff in his pockets. The man can put more in his pockets than I can put in that ginormous tote I carry to church every week.

First, there are the facial tissues. Clumps and wads and rolled up pieces of kleenex. Some used. Some clean. (kleen?) These compliment the various and assorted napkins he has picked up while driving through Wendy's. And then there are the pens. The cell phones (minimum two). Notes, Note pads. Sticky notes. A wallet that holds: 3,654 shopper cards from every grocery store from here to Hawaii, Flyer Mile cards, Car Rental cards, Points cards, Debit, Credit etc etc. License(s) maybe even expired ones, folded up bills (separated and folded neatly just like his mom kept in her wallet). Then there are nails, screws, paper clips, safety pins and miscellaneous tools. Let's not forget the beauty items such as nail clippers and toothpicks. Receipts, business cards, and maybe even a Spaulding Turnpike token along with a coin or two from a Scotland trip 25 years ago. Seriously, this man can fill a pocket!

You might think a man can't possibly fit all this in a pocket. Well he can. There is his right pants pocket, his left pants pocket, those two pockets in the back of his pants. The pocket on his shirt, and then the right pocket on his jacket, the left pocket, and the pockets that line the inside of his coat. Ah, yes, the man has lots of pockets.

Which got me to thinking, maybe he needs more pockets. You know, kind of like we need another shed so we can clean out the garage.

Well, I went shopping online the other day, and look what I found!
Larry's new couch!

By the way, just so I know you people are reading this stuff...I promise a post every day for every comment I get on this post - ie - one comment - I post tomorrow, ten comments - I post for the next ten days. Bring it on!

10 comments:

Chelsie! said...

Mama Kane, you're hilarious! I love/miss all of you guys (including Papa's pockets!) Keep posting, you're awesome!

Love, Chelsie

Ali-kat said...

I know this to be true about Larry's pockets. My dad's pockets also contain many items. Mainly just receipts, loose change, and pens. Oh, and Listerene strips (when I was younger it was Certs).

Hannah said...

Wasn't he also a pro at filling those Lindt bags up? I seem to remember hearing that he held the record for fitting the most chocolates into that plastic bag. ?

A is for Ashlee said...

Welcome back! :)

Hez said...

Oh my gosh mom... I was literally laughing so hard I was crying while reading that post. Please, more of those. That made my day!

Just US said...

I love reading your posts! They make my day!

Shelby said...

i love you mama kane.

Chris said...

Of coarse we read your FABULOUS blog!! And I think the courge is perfect!!

Titus Fam said...

Okay, I'm in. I want to hear more. I think my comment makes 9 days. You totally crack me up Sue.

Steph said...

I'm pretty much a blog stalker, but I know all of your daughters, so I'm coming out of hiding to encourage you to write more. You are hilarious. Keep it coming.